Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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