Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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