I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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