I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
