Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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