My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
