There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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