I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
