Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize