She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
