how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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