I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize