If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Randomize
