Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
