I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
