Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
