I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found puke in my bra..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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