dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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