Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize