Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
