i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
