Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
