the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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