i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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