There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
