ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
