Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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