The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why are your pants in the freezer?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
