Non-Jews are for practice
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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