If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
