He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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