the day after is always just damage control
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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