i just google imaged poop.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
