Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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