Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
