so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
