Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wear drunk well.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize