Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
