I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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