Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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