I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize