He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
