Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just gift wrapped bread.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
