I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
