the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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