Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
