yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
