i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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