Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
