And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
