it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
