I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
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