It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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