Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
ok first of all what the fuck
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize