I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
