you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
