Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
He kissed a someone with a penis
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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