Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Boobs are out for the taking
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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