i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
